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Hard To Get - Your Personal Guidebook on How to Play the Game of Love!

By Mimi Tanner, Author of
Should I Call Him? The Complete Guide To Calling and Emailing the Men You Date

and How To Flirt With Men - Secrets of Flirting With Men

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Where has the affection gone?

Author	Comment
Cholee2001	Where has the affection gone?	Lead	[-]
Posts: 3 (Sep 11, 2006 12:07:16) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. It has been a very rocky relationship with many ups and downs. We have been going to a counselor lately to help us with communication issues we have. One thing that has majorly changed the past few months is that he is no longer affectionate towards me. It's almost like were roommates. We still eat dinner together, sleep in the same bed, etc. However he doesn't kiss me bye when he leaves, sits on the other couch when we watch tv, sleeps on his own side of the bed. When I ask him why this is, he says that were having issues right now and he's confused. He doesn't want us to act like things are "normal" because they are not right now. But I feel like he is just not attracted to me anymore but he say's thats not it. I asked him if he felt like we have made any progress since beginning counseling because I feel further away from him than I ever have. He says yes, but still no affection at all unless it's me being affectionate towards him. I feel like I'm chasing someone that simply just doens't want me anymore. His words are that he loves me but his actions don't quite line up.
Unregistered(d)	Affection MIA!!	#1	[-]
Posts: 0 (Jul 11, 2007 17:28:40) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Wow! when I read your comment It struck a cord! I just today told my boyfriend that I am not sure if there is any relationship to salvage because I sense there is not any attraction towards me. I have made move after move on him to be rejected each time. He says its just stress not me but my gut says the laws of attraction are either there or not. I pulled out all my flirting stops and continue looking my hottest,best perfume, lingerie, working out and still no response . $:\$ On my last Try for some response using flirting 101 dilligently!!!
Unregistered(d)	advice	#2	[-]
Posts: 0 (Jul 12, 2007 05:41:44) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Girls, as far as I know, from my experience, don't chase men. The best cure in this relationship is to stop chasing them. if you show too much attention to them, they will back! I did it once... So if they don't want your attention, just don't show it! When they see you don't care, it is either they will start doing something, if not, you'll at least know that they are not interested in you. Just find some new hobby or smth, live for yourself and be patient. When they see you are not interested and don't try hard to fascinate them, I am sure they will try to do smth. Because it is always what you want the most and can't have it, it is the most desirable. Sad, but true. And never blame them. Just be patient, look gorgeous and smile! This is the best weapon Good luck!
leilalolly	Re: advice	#3	[-]
Posts: 5 (Dec 2, 2007 01:30:22) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	the 3 years i had 2 relationships who lasted 3 years and a half.. 1st time i left him...did not spk for 30 days solid... he came back begging 2nd time i was not bothered i also had a bf for 12 years..left him 30 days after he was treating the dog better than he was treating me..he came back crying for love this guy i met...treated me like dirt after 2 months..i am trying the 30 days thing to prove a point... i am heartbroken....if you not mean ,they are mean to you...and it is so sad... i am sleeping alone...i want love..i am eating chocolate instead...30 days...this is day 11...i am starting thinking that a guy who need such treatment to like me is an horrible person...good luck !
angel		#4	[-]
Posts: 22 (Apr 10, 2009 02:00:30) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Unregistered is right....I act myself and take care of myself as well. When I started to relax and told my partner to take care of his issues concerning kids, he has been doing so. I have been fixing mine and smile whenever we see one another. He hugs me after dinner and brought me flowers. He napped last eve and didn't want to leave me alone at night, asked what I am doing today and said he'd call midday....he is fixing up his flat to sell and this is after I said that I cannot continue as things are because I cared so much for him and his kids. That I wanted it to be special. You know, it was a kind of ultimatum and I didn't mean to say "I loved you"...it just came out. I think he got scared and he said right away that he'd sell flat...then we plan to fix up mine and maybe find another one. I will take his cues as they come. I can be very subtle and shy as well. I don't talk much and follow his frame of conversation. But I let him know that I want him still and wait for the changes that are happening now. We are together for 5 yrs and we struggled with kids and issues:only this year have we gotten to "us" again. I don't regret the time we spent together or changes happening now, which help us grow.
alv09.beautyfashionan...		#5	[-]
Posts: 3 (Jul 20, 2009 18:45:02) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Try being affectionate to him once in a while. Maybe he's just not feeling cues from you, so he's discouraged. But don't over do it because he might feel suffocated.
sammyhalliwel.angsplace		#6	[-]
Posts: 2 (Aug 18, 2009 00:15:58) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	Probably the best thing to do is leave him temporarily give him space as well as for you're self maybe you will find answers there.
affairsofdheart		#7	[-]
Posts: 1 (Aug 26, 2009 06:56:00) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts	What I've learned from all my experiences....men wants the chase. Even thou they say they won't play the game of love. Men's goal in life is that they will say anything to you to reach their goal of having sex with you. Women's goal in life is commitment or marriage. Lesson in life, do not let a man reach his goal without reaching your goal first. It goes the same way with the sexual act. Once he reaches his $++$++, you're screwed cause he won't be able to perform anymore. To have a man fall for you, you have to be able to reach his inner core....pain. He needs to feel the pain of losing you and let him work so hard for you that he won't discard you so easily. Men and women are very different. Men will respond to action. Action begets action. Women who keeps trying to talk the serious talk with her man, won't get anywhere. He will not understand it. If you decide to ignore him, or walk away from him, he will understand that. Action begets action. He needs to feel the twinge or pain of wanting you so bad, that he will treasure you forever. By giving in to him so easily, making yourself readily available anytime.... he will not budge. You are showing that you're too easy and you will always be there. Where is the chase? Why do you think they always love watching sports? Well, most men do. They like the rush.

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