Hi,

This is a very weird situation. One I've never come across before. If he was treating her so badly in the marriage why would she want him back? Why would she want the divorce to go through and start new again? I don't have any answers for that...as I've never come across it before.

However, you say she moved in with a guy after her father died. How do you know it's a boyfriend? It could just be a friend; unless you know for a fact. How does she have access to her ex's email account? That seems strange too. A lot of things seem strange.

Have you been able to talk with her? Are you a friend of hers? There are people who love that someone wants them so badly and they string them along, just enough, to make sure they are kept in their minds. These people are not someone I'd want to be around. What was she like when they were married?

For her to say she doesn't think he changed...how would she know unless she gives him a chance. I am just restating things you have written...so as you see....I don't have any advice...other than....he should just move on with his life. Leave her alone....and find someone else and start anew.

I have a friend who I just found out her husband wants to leave after 19 years of marriage. She is crushed. She loves him yet she knows she has treated him badly. She says things she doesn't mean but those words hurt and after many years it took its toll.

I've tried talking with him and he said he is "done". She has done too much damage. So you see....if things are that bad that someone feels that can't "go back" like my friend's husband...well then it's time to move on. So this confuses me as to why this girl still "toys" with her ex. She should move on also....and like my boyfriend says about my friend...there really is "no going back"...but you can "move forward" ...whether together or apart.

As I said, don't think this gives you any answers...but maybe someone else out there reading this can give you better insight. Good luck.