I'm 44 yrs old and have been with my partner for 9 years ( not married) and we have a wee boy of 8.
We've had the usual ups and downs but tried for another child but suffered two miscarriages in 6 months, the last in Jan 09.
My partner was 40 this month and I'd hoped to make it a birthday to remember. Unfortunately it didn't work out that way. At the end of last summer she told me her workmates who she has socialised with for obver 20 years wanted to go to a concert around her birthday. It evolved into a full birthday weekend with a trip to the races and a weekend packed full of memories, but without any involving us to cherish.
My partner had been socialising heavily with her friends in the last year, usually lunches equating to 12 hour drinking and when I said I had enough she moved out in March when I asked her to pick her friends or me. foolish with hindsight but I felt excluded and margianalised. She said she had had enough of me trying to manage her life and it was over but moved back in at the end of April and although we now have separate rooms we essentially have a family life that is normal.
I think she does still really love me but she chose her friends to have once in a lifetime memories with and after 9 years I now see my own position in the relationship in a whole different light. This has left me a little heartbroken and although we are making tentative steps back to normality I'm not sure where it's going. Before the trip she shut me out and I wonder whether this was just to ensure I didn't interfere with plans. Now she is back to more like her old self but I feel as though I've changed inside as to how I view her as a person who has to have what she wants even if it means excluding her partner.
Am I being unrealistic and selfish in wanting to have had some input into such a major event and can we ever regain the closesness we once had or had this put an eternal gap between us ? I don't know the answer at the moment but wonder what others think ?
