SORRY FOR THE NOVEL!! Ok so here's the spill....in September 2009 I met this man who, by day 3, was official soul mate status. He fortunately felt the same way (at the time...) and even mentioned running off to Vegas after being inseparable for the entire first week. I however being level-headed and concsious of my family's feelings stated we could be by the next August...due to some sticky roommate situation he moved in with me early December (yes quick I know...but when you know you know right?? or so i thought...). Eventually he asked my parents for their blessing in March and we agreed August of 2010 was our time. WELL we didn't really have the time or finances around that time so we settled for next August (summer best time bc both students..). So anyways he took his sweet time to get around to officially asking me and giving me my ring (October 2010) because we had kind of a rough summer....which turned into a rough fall...and well we still seem to be arguing a lot. now you have the background...TO THE POINT! I have begun to get the feeling that he is no longer fully invested in our relationship...that he is kind of second guessing us (although he says he has never had doubt...not once.)
**ISSUE # 1**...after he FINALLY proposed...i (of course) was so stoked i sent a mass picture mail to EVERYONE in my phone. Not to mention he caught it on camera and I told all my peeps that I was posting it on facebook that night. To my horror...when i asked if he had gotten to call and tell his family that night...HE HAD NOT. and he just barely has this last week!! ALMOST 3 MONTHS AFTER THE FACT!!! Now What would you make of that?? either embarassed or having serious doubts correct?? So everyone was asking on my wall where's the video congrats bla bla?? which i had to delete B/C I'm friends with his relatives!! AH...Even after I cried and told him how it made me feel that he hadn't told them...several times...and he said he was sorry and would...each time...it took for.ev.er. Shouldn't my feelings be worth a "you need to finish school first" lecture? I felt so stupid for shouting it from the roof tops when he was acting as if it never happened...
**ISSUE # 2**...One evening my mom offered to pay for our engagement pictures while we were going to be in town for thanksgiving...so I text my "fiance" to ask if he would tell his fam soon so we can send them out and he responded with..."I dunno mechelle...I have some things I need to work out in my heart." WHAT?...WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS. as i mentioned before we had been having a rough time primarily because I had been depressed recently and it had been straining our relationship.at this point we have a dog. live together. share a bank account. i have my ring. every single person who has known me at any point in my life knows I am SUPPOSED to marry this guy. i have cut off all side pieces and completely invested myself emotionally physically everything into this guy and our relationship...and now he says he has to work stuff out?? ok and when I called him out later and said when you are truly in it for the long haul like a marriage is supposed to be...you will be willing to help your significant other through these type things. NOT ABANDON THEM WHEN THINGS GETS TOUGH!! and if he was ALREADY having doubts what would it be like in 20 years. so that if he did have doubts we were thru cuz i'm not getting a divorce. so THEN he tries to retract his statement saying I took it out of context and he wasn't having doubts or confused he was just trying to put pressure on me to get my butt into counseling (which i had been meaning to do but being a dedicated college student...have zero time for). Wouldn't you call that doubt? UGH
**ISSUE # 3**...like i said he FINALLY told his family this week...So i was actually feeling like "yay he does really want to marry me! I am officially engaged to the person I care about more than anything! wo hoo!" so of course I start looking at the dresses and flowers and venues and catering and excitedly gabbing and asking his opinion...each time the same even keel response. so ONCE AGAIN feeling stupid because here I am bouncing with excitement while he actually groaned!!! and when I asked.."what? you dont think italian is a good idea do you...I'm sorry i forgot your relatives are vegan...well marinara it is!" and he responds with. "No I just think we need to be worried about other things first...(implying the counseling)" Its like....way to burst my bubble! you know what I mean??? Am I wrong to think he is having doubts? Wouldnt you think he was basically saying "well we will see if we can fix you...and then maybe" like WTH I thought your husband was supposed to love and cherish you thru sickness (depression) and health?! PLEEEEASE GIVE ADVICE. I dont want to be mad and accuse him of not wanting to marry me...because dang it i want to marry him more than anything! I cant see my life without him...but if he doesn't feel the same then i dont want to be with him....HELP A SISTA OUT PLEASE!
**ISSUE # 1**...after he FINALLY proposed...i (of course) was so stoked i sent a mass picture mail to EVERYONE in my phone. Not to mention he caught it on camera and I told all my peeps that I was posting it on facebook that night. To my horror...when i asked if he had gotten to call and tell his family that night...HE HAD NOT. and he just barely has this last week!! ALMOST 3 MONTHS AFTER THE FACT!!! Now What would you make of that?? either embarassed or having serious doubts correct?? So everyone was asking on my wall where's the video congrats bla bla?? which i had to delete B/C I'm friends with his relatives!! AH...Even after I cried and told him how it made me feel that he hadn't told them...several times...and he said he was sorry and would...each time...it took for.ev.er. Shouldn't my feelings be worth a "you need to finish school first" lecture? I felt so stupid for shouting it from the roof tops when he was acting as if it never happened...
**ISSUE # 2**...One evening my mom offered to pay for our engagement pictures while we were going to be in town for thanksgiving...so I text my "fiance" to ask if he would tell his fam soon so we can send them out and he responded with..."I dunno mechelle...I have some things I need to work out in my heart." WHAT?...WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS. as i mentioned before we had been having a rough time primarily because I had been depressed recently and it had been straining our relationship.at this point we have a dog. live together. share a bank account. i have my ring. every single person who has known me at any point in my life knows I am SUPPOSED to marry this guy. i have cut off all side pieces and completely invested myself emotionally physically everything into this guy and our relationship...and now he says he has to work stuff out?? ok and when I called him out later and said when you are truly in it for the long haul like a marriage is supposed to be...you will be willing to help your significant other through these type things. NOT ABANDON THEM WHEN THINGS GETS TOUGH!! and if he was ALREADY having doubts what would it be like in 20 years. so that if he did have doubts we were thru cuz i'm not getting a divorce. so THEN he tries to retract his statement saying I took it out of context and he wasn't having doubts or confused he was just trying to put pressure on me to get my butt into counseling (which i had been meaning to do but being a dedicated college student...have zero time for). Wouldn't you call that doubt? UGH
**ISSUE # 3**...like i said he FINALLY told his family this week...So i was actually feeling like "yay he does really want to marry me! I am officially engaged to the person I care about more than anything! wo hoo!" so of course I start looking at the dresses and flowers and venues and catering and excitedly gabbing and asking his opinion...each time the same even keel response. so ONCE AGAIN feeling stupid because here I am bouncing with excitement while he actually groaned!!! and when I asked.."what? you dont think italian is a good idea do you...I'm sorry i forgot your relatives are vegan...well marinara it is!" and he responds with. "No I just think we need to be worried about other things first...(implying the counseling)" Its like....way to burst my bubble! you know what I mean??? Am I wrong to think he is having doubts? Wouldnt you think he was basically saying "well we will see if we can fix you...and then maybe" like WTH I thought your husband was supposed to love and cherish you thru sickness (depression) and health?! PLEEEEASE GIVE ADVICE. I dont want to be mad and accuse him of not wanting to marry me...because dang it i want to marry him more than anything! I cant see my life without him...but if he doesn't feel the same then i dont want to be with him....HELP A SISTA OUT PLEASE!
