I work all day and come home at about 7. My wife complains, but i can't do much about it.  The earlier i leave, the worse traffic is, and I'm always getting caught up at work when I want to leave.  I work far away to make more money, so we can survive.  She stays up until 11 or 12 because she doesn't have to get up early, so I do too, and then she says she's too tired.

She stays up really late and so does her 5 year old son.  He sleeps in our room most of the time when he is home (80% of the time), because he has been doing that for years, since before i was in the picture, UHHHHMMM!  Now, I started dating my wife about 6 months after she left her son's dad, and we got married 18 months later, about a month ago.  We always found a way to be intimate, even if that meant staying up until 1AM taking a shower together, or her spending an hour or two putting her son to bed in his room at 9 or 10, and being intimate after he went to bed, or somebody to take care of him for the night.  Now, it seems she doesn't want to go to the trouble, and I've gotten used to it too, so I just don't mind too much if it's once a week, or I've gotten over minding it, i should say.  A lot of the time we have to just fit sex in when we can, 20 minutes here or there, usually at 12 or 1 AM after getting up at 6 and going to sleep at 11 or 12 for a few days in a row, and after coming home at 7, and before getting back up at 6 in the morning.  Real spontaneous and romantic, huh?  Still our sex life used to be a priority and one of the things we both liked the most.  Now we never even have sex except maybe when my stepson is away at his father's house for the weekend.  Even then (the only time we seem to be able to have sex), she seldom wants to have sex two days in a row.  Sometimes I'm like "OK it's friday night, and [my stepson] is away, so why don't we have a romantic evening, go out to dinner, and wach a movie and...oh you ordered a pizza, and you've invited people over, and you have a headache and you're tired...Sigh!"  Like I've said, I've gotten used to it. 

Now don't get me wrong, we have are hot nights in the bedroom and our little hot phases of sex every night for a couple days or 2 or 3 times a week that come and go.  Still, our sex life and our sex was a whole lot better when it wasn't like "surprise! I'm in the mood, so either make this a mindblowing experience at the drop pf a hat, or just get it over with quick so i can go to sleep."  We used to have great hours-long sex almost every night.  Now I feel like I'm expected to wait and wait for weeks and then pow! turn on like a light switch, do all the foreflay, and somehow make fireworks go off for her, while sleep deprived, at 12 AM, with no warning whatsoever.  I mean you just can't make a guy wait a week, give or take, then surprise him with the "i'm in the mood now" signal at odd times once a week and then just expect him to perform and for it to be great for either of you.  I mean for one thing, practice makes perfect, first of all.  Second, how am i supposed to enjoy myself or make it hot when she gives me every reason to think that we aren't having sex, and then expects me to be ready at the drop of a hat?  I mean it sounds funny, but what about my emotional needs?  I need anticipation, some kind of build up, something.  I mean where's her labido the other 6 days and 23.5 hours of the week?  Can i get a french kiss now and again?  This surprise weekly sex time stuff is for the birds.  I hit my pillow every night knowing that there's somewhere between a 0% chance we will have sex 12 nights out of 14 and a 50% chance that we will have sex the other 2 days.  Hello!?!?!?  I'm very discouraged.  If I try to get her to have sex a lot of the time she doesn't want to anf gets annoyed that i try.  I try to bring it up to talk about it, set some time aside for us, and she says that it's not spontaneous, that she feels obligated, pressured, something like that.  How does she think i feel when she won't have sex for over a week and then when the stars of fate have finally aligned, she isn't in the mood?  It didn't used to be this way.  The sex was better it was great, and she looked forward to it, and we both found time and I had half a chance of putting something into it, because it wasn't a surprise and I wasn't exhausted, and I didn't have to get up in 5 hours, and it wasn't so seldom that it just wasn't what it could be.

Also, she used to let me do more stuff and be more adventureous.  she won't let me do much of anything different anymore, but she complains from time to time that out sex life is too routine.  I mean you won;t let me do anthing other than X, Y, and Z, and i have to get you aroused the same way every time, but i'm making it routine?!?!? We bought a bunch of stuff from a sex toy party, her friend's party (not my idea god forbid), like bondage rope and warming massage oil, and a sex card game, and lengerie last weekend (and for the first time in my life),  but we haven't used them yet (or had sex since last friday night).  You'd think she would want to after buying them.  I guess we are still in a rut...until further notice.  I try to be romantic, and she says it makes her uncomfortable to go out to dinner and that she doesn't like movies, and she's often quite distant and unaffectionnate at home, and there's never any alone time.