Ok, my situation is not new or unique. I'm 33, and I'm in love with my best friend, who is 27. I've known her for about a year, and we get along great, we tell each other everything, we've slept in the same bed (and I do mean slept), we're as close as two people can be. About six months ago, I realised I had feelings for her, and then they started getting stronger and stronger until I realised I was in love with her. I tried to bottle it up, but she knew something was wrong with me, and basically bullied me into telling her. She was very kind, gave me the whole 'I love you as a friend' thing. That was about a month ago. Now, I've been single for six years, she's been single for 8 years. In the six years I've been single, I've had one sexual partner; in the eight years she's been single she's had at least 20 sexual partners. She's a tad promiscuous, and is quite found of one night stands and *+%* buddies. I wasn't prepared for how hard it was going to be to see her with guys - she went to London for a week last month, and had two one night stands, and while she was telling me, I felt this knot form in my stomach which is still there, getting tighter and tighter. Last night, we were out together, and she told me about some guy she met in college, who she thinks is interested in her as a *+%* buddy, and she's more than up for it. In actual fact, there's a very good chance she's with him as I write this! And yep, right on cue, there's that damn knot.

I know all the standard advice, with the main one being to distance myself from her (not going to happen; I need her in my life). But the thing of it is, it crushes me when I see her with other guys. If she got a boyfriend, that'd be tough, but I could accept it, but this whole casual thing she's got going on is killing me. I mean what does it say about me when she has *+%* buddies and one night stands, goes out on dates with guys she doesn't even like and yet she won't even entertain the possibility of ANYTHING ever happening with me. It doesn't do much for a man's ego let me tell you!

I'm at my wit's end. I can't concentrate at work. Please, any advice at all would be really really appreciated. I need to get rid of this knot. Thank you.