I am sorry to say that from experience, you are wasting your time and fooling yourself on the man's benefit and your ego will go down to the floor. Please, I am not trying to hurt you, just talking from experience. YOU don't need it, he does though. Let him get another girl. Take care of yourself starting NOW. Try to really drive him crazy by asking him to be with you and see how fast he will run away. It suits him to be in this situation:why would he leave? So he can be charming with you. I did this to myself and worst. I crawled out of it only because my daughters are HIS as well. They gave me the strength to get out. I was shy and insecure at 19 yrs when I met him and didn't feel I could find someone my age good for me. He was 15 yrs older, a real charmer, phoney, egomaniac, materialistic...take what he can get for himself and not caring who he hurts. A year before I met him, I said it would never happen to me after hearing a similar story. We all are blind and try to reason it out. I was with him for 5 yrs when he convinced me to have our baby, planning to leave the home his mom bought to keep him married. When he left the home, our girl was 1 yr old, and he left the home with his son. Yes there were problems there and he didn't lie about it and he wasn't happy, but he also feared starting over and wanted to keep it all low key. I got pregnant and due to threats on other side he went back home. Then I got depressed and was with him mainly because I had no power to leave while I worked shifts in hospital,still loved him but was unsure more than ever of his love, pressed him nearly each time we saw one another, but now there were 2 little girls to be concerned over. When I worked regular hours after a few more years, I got strength, got lawyer, sued him for minimal child support when girls were 6 and 4 yrs, which he paid till girls were 17 and 15 yrs. He claimed to love us always, just his way wasn't good for anyone.I told him to stay with his wife, work things out without harming others. I moved to another country when girls turned 8 and 6yrs. Today they are 25 and 23 yrs, one married now and they tried to contact him, yelling at his family that they are his daughters. They won't give up, but it isn't a priority and they get to source of anger, not needing therapy. We aren't in touch for years, better for us all. They are good girls with confidence and very sweet and proud of me. Everyone admires me for raising them alone and getting the strength to get out. I wish I had strength not to start in first place,naivety was fault, but maybe the girls were meant to be, and they helped me learn to respect myself and my needs for a good family (what I was brought up with, morals which I forgot). Today I see a decent man who took me into his care, seeing the shy girl with strength and we are partners together in life, involved with his kids and family holidays shared and his ex sees a married man her senior by 30 yrs...now the son was sent to boarding school by social workers because of this and fact that kids are puberty stage. I left my "problem" when kids were little, knowing not to damage the girls. I am trying to give kids stability with my partner. His kids love me and I think his ex with her jealousy, got involved with this guy, and she will slowly lose her kids, she cannot see it. We are all responsible for our destiny and to fix things for the better. Married men are for SOAP OPERAS, only hurt women. I feel PURE now and clean and respectable and respected and I don't want it any other way and my girls understand finally and are at peace with me. They are exotic beauties, spanish from the other side, and sweet in nature. People say I raised them well. When I showed my partner lately what hurt me and how sensitive I am, he saw how I needed to be cared for, and I also clinged to him less in negative ways (learned from past), and stood up for my honour, I feel better with him as well. So TV and movies are all wrong...hold onto pride and selfrespect, if you want sex, do it later in relationship and when you don't get what you need, pull back a bit. You won't lose the man who is good for you, just have him respect you more for the action...and you'll gain selfrespect. At same time I asked for what I wanted both in nice way, but sure of myself and what I feel is right. I even dared to suggest that we share "home" and even hinted that if nothing would happen, I will move on to smaller home to save and then of course he'd have to find other direction. I showed him I have guts to leave a good thing as well. He is sticking closer now and even if not saying about planning to officially move in with me and fix up his life as well, we both know this is both of our needs for kids. We spoke of it before and it stopped with pressure of his ex with kids. His reason for keeping things lowkey was fear of his ex's manipulation and I decided to take steps to make myself respectable to give him strength to make moves for his benefit. He is planning to shop with me this week for our HOME as I asked him to make me happy by making a home with me. He is boss and taking initiative and I gain real partnership. But I was the BOSS, by taking a step back to show pride it was first time I did this in my life with a man, to gain something I wanted. So try this, with someone you really deserve as well. Goodluck to you and let me know what happens.