I hate to say this but you're in a tough situation. very tough.

You have been his second best. now hoping to be the best or first priority but he's not giving it to you. it seems like he wants to have you but not to be with you. getting what i'm telling you? he wants to have you but not to be with you. yes, you have all the reasons to feel used and you can choose not to if you want.

you can (and in my opinion you should) end this now.

i'm suggesting you cut it off right now. cut off all contact with him - and i know it must be exetremely hard thing to do as you're used to him after 5 years. 5 years is so long... so many beautiful years (and age) that you have given him.

don't waste anymore time and don't give him anymore time unless he gives you his and i'm talking SERIOUS COMMITMENT!! you deserve better for all that much that you've given him. and i'm not even talking about all the love and affection etc that you've been given him all that long.

make sure he's either yours and now - or bye bye.

i hope you learned your lesson of not going out with married men or taken men. what is yours is yours and what's not is not. you don't want to marry this man, then few years later he'll have a mistress and you won't even have the right to complain as you have been his mistress yourself. Hard to admit, but it's true.

Get out of this circle, find a single man to be with you and only you.

Never settle to be a SECOND BEST. NEVER !!